Prologue to Memoirs of an Invisible child
Why I chose to write this book. The Webster dictionary definition for Invisible: not visible, not capable of being seen; not in sight; concealed; not publicly or openly acknowledged. The word invisible means different things to different people; this book is my attempt to explain what it means to me. The things I am going to share with you are not always about violence toward me directly, but how being immersed in it growing up can affect a person. I want to show violence against someone you love breaks your heart. To explain how the daily threat keeps you captive in your own fear. This book is my own personal story about how the abuse in my life helped turn me into an invisible child.
I am writing to all of the innocent bystanders and to the children who are caught in the middle of the abuse. For these children, I offer hope. The abuse may have stolen your childhood, but it doesn't have to steal your future. This is written for the families of the victims who are forced to remain on the outside. I want to show how the abuser uses fear and manipulation to keep the families apart. My advice to you is to not blame yourself, you cannot control the abuser. I would strongly urge you to never give up on the abused person, no matter how hard it seems. All you can do is pray and hold your hand out until that person is able to reach for it. For the person in the center of the abuse, you are strong and you have control. Even though it seems like you don’t. I know it seems like you are out of control but I promise, with small steps you can regain control. You have the power, although you may not realize it. There are safe places to go, there are people who are waiting just to help you. You and your children, if you have them, are worth it. The first step is the hardest, but it's the first step to a new freedom for you and your family. This a clear warning to the person who causes the abuse, you are causing harm to your children even if you aren't hitting them. Your relationship with them will be forever scarred. The fear and heartbreak that happens over and over can severely scar a child. Even though you may have convinced yourself that no one knows,or that your child doesn’t understand, trust me they do. For teachers, bus drivers and anyone who comes into contact with children who exemplify habits such as - acting out at school, getting into a lot of fights or trouble. please pay attention, someone’s life may depend on it. Sometimes the abused children are afraid so they are quiet and try to blend in with their surroundings so they aren't noticed. These are the kids that may need extra attention and may need that one adult who can see past their quietness, or acting out and instead see the possible reality of a scared, sad abused little child. Please be that adult, take the time to notice and to care. The earlier that child finds someone to trust, the better their chances of healing. Trust me, when I tell you that the invisible scar hurts just as bad as any visible scar you see. For all involved in an abusive situation, you need to get professional help, it is not a sign of defeat or shame. The strongest people are the ones who seek help. This book is written to bring awareness to the child that is hurting so deeply on the inside, they feel like they are dying on the outside. I want to share my story with you to offer hope. My story begins as many others, a journey about a child fragile, pure and innocent with endless possibilities. The possibilities that are affected by many things such as; where you were born, who your parents are, where you live, how you are raised and the circumstances that life throws at you. I will talk about faith, and how it can be a huge factor in helping you overcome anything and give you the strength to survive.
I often wonder what people do without faith when they hurt, because I survive because I believe. This is a story of how a little girl full of possibilities became the invisible child; and how how through the discovery of faith, came out of the shadows to be heard and never be invisible again. I am writing this memoir on how I remember life growing up and my perceptions as a child. This book is not written to feel sorry for myself, this is a book of HOPE! I have lived through the heartbreaking murder of my mom then thrust into a world of domestic violence
I became the invisible child partially because I was lost in the chaos of abuse. I was the unseen collateral damage of domestic violence. Mainly I became the invisible child for self preservation. I figured you can’t hurt what you can’t see.
I want to show you that no matter how dark your world seems there is a light shining right outside the door. You just need to have faith and keep moving.